A beautiful love ❣️

Love. Love could easily be described as the best feeling to have. You know, that feeling of being able to take a deep breath and have an overpowered sense of calmness that is so soothing, it can literally be felt within your chest if you let it. Do we even realize just how powerful love truly is, not just the word but the emotion itself. Without love or desire you lose the drive to fight, whether it’s an illness, career, school, advancement opportunities, relationships, hobbies, etc. Love controls so many emotions within the mind and soul that we fail to realize it until we start to feel the opposite of love.

Bet you’d never guess that emotion isn’t “hate”, it’s “indifferent”.

Indifference can have such a negative impact, actually indifference can be really ugly. Now, I’m not saying every time you feel indifferent about a situation that your life is going to go to shit; however, once you begin feeling indifferent towards everything you’re likely going to feel negative towards nearly everything in your life. Let’s be real, who enjoys being around someone whose indifferent to everything. Hell, I started being that person & to look back and see that in myself is embarrassing. Every time I heard the damn word surgery, indifferent followed and then indifferent quickly followed 90% of my life because 90% of my life became surgeries. Now who the hell can enjoy life having surgeries every 3 months, everyday nausea from the medications, everyday migraines from the medication, if it was a side effect it was without a doubt I had experienced it, & to make matters worse I was beginning to start looking physically ill just by the complexion of my skin. So, in order to handle life, indifferent became the norm.

I realized I had lost sight of love and allowed indifferent to consume majority of my life, especially my illness and many relationships in my life. Now, instead of feeling indifferent towards my illness I have a sense of calmness, which as allowed me to regain loving myself entirely and all that life entails, even on the harder days. Now, how in the hell can I be calm knowing I’m living with a deadly heart disease, 26 medications a day, & continuous surgeries a head of me. Well, because I know there’s a plan ahead just waiting for me. Those words hold true value rather than just words that I don’t believe in.

If you take the first letter of the first word to each post prior to this, you’ll realize that it spells love. Without the ability to love, I wouldn’t have been able to overcome the obstacle of feeling indifferent towards so much. Love is the root of what has allowed me to continuously push forward towards the plan that’s awaiting.

Love is to be cherished, to be felt, to be honored. Love is meant to be graceful and peaceful, even when it feels painful. The ultimate success in life is to love yourself, without loving yourself you’re missing out on the best thing life has to offer. That, is a beautiful life that is deserved to live freely. Living in a negative mindset can be detrimental to a positive outcome. It’s literally the invitation for any obstacle to enter your life. Life is full of beauty and so much love, it’s within ourselves that we have to find the inner most joy to continue finding the positive in each day. Remember, difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations ❤️