A mother’s love ❤️

Unique. I can’t possibly be the only person who gets confused as fuck when there’s a new post on social media of “Rubber Eraser Day” or “National Margarita Day”. I mean, I’ll take the national margarita day anytime, they’re my weakness😋 oh, & the Rubber Eraser Day is legit, it’s April 15th. Apparently I missed National Daughter Day, parent fail moment, but how in the hell are we expected to keep up with a new National day, everyday. For those that don’t know us personally, I’ll fill you in, Sierra and Lydia, are, well, very unique and polar opposites.

Lydia, Lydia, Lydia. To put it politely she’s one that’ll push my buttons until the breaking point. I may or may not refer to her as Satan or my devil child. My god, has she grown so much in the last year, intellectually & emotionally. With any 7 year old they have their moments of being an asshole, probably more often than not. Thankfully she’s had a full cardiac genetic panel testing done and it came back negative across the board. Long story short, as my pregnancy approached the end of the 3rd trimester I was losing amniotic fluid and we ran the risk of a stillbirth. I’m so thankful we had a obstetrician who didn’t hesitate instructing is what was needed to be done.

They warned us she’d have to spend a significant amount of time in the NICU. Would you believe this beautiful 4lb little girl was so strong, that they actually released us the next day. Lydia was perfection to me, looked like the world’s most beautiful babydoll. She came home with a cute little jaundice bed that she had to use for a few days. After that, it’s been a whirlwind of energy, cuddles, annoyance, proud parent moments, parent fails (let’s be real, we all have those, if you don’t, I’m pretty sure we just can’t be friends 🤷‍♀️) pain in the ass days, but a fulfillment of love most of all. Lydia’s laughter will always be music to my ears.

Never in my life did I imagine I’d be given the gift to be a mother. It wasn’t in my plans & if you’ve read any of my prior post you’d realize I would’ve had to become a mother at a young age. Wanna take a guess at the age….😬 Here it is, pregnant at 16 & had Sierra when I was barely 17. 17 years old, senior in high school, cheerleader (obviously I quit), god life changed in the blink of an eye. Rough life would be putting it lightly, but the second I looked into Sierra’s eyes life was perfect for living in such a fucked up world. Sierra was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time, I just didn’t know it until I held her.

Covid has wreaked havoc on all of our lives, it’s really been such a bitch. Lydia had struggled in Kindergarten, actually she was retained due to some silly testing. She’s grown so much over the last 2 years & even more so since Covid. She’s got such a kind heart that she wants to help everyone in any way possible that she can. Intellectually growing so quickly that her teacher made the remark that she’d make a phenomenal teacher one day. Competitive, which must run in the family given her sisters competitive ass. Lydia will push herself to brag to Sierra that she’s better than her in something. Secretly, Lydia just wants her sisters attention and love. She’s intuitive and has a curious mind for everything. Lydia just loves to be a kid & as a mother I couldn’t ask for anything more than having a 7 year old who just wants to have fun and enjoy life as it is.

A senior in high school, how the fuck was I going to finish school, go to college, work, & most importantly provide for Sierra. Honestly I don’t give enough credit to those that helped me during the process, Sierra’s biological grandparents, my grandmother, my friends, god they were always there to help and babysit so I could achieve the goals I needed to. Sierra was such a precious baby, most beautiful curly hair (which is no longer because the child doesn’t know how the hell to lay off the straightener). Perfectionist describes Sierra to a T, but don’t let that fool you, she’ll procrastinate the hell out of something she’s not interested in. Always excelling throughout school, soccer (prior to knowing of her heart condition), then cheer quickly followed. My best friend, I look at her with amazement everyday because she’s turning into such a beautiful young lady inside and out. She’s just as compassionate and cares how others feel or if they’re in need she figures out a way to help. Just like Lydia, Sierra loves to laugh & just enjoy life’s finest moments.

Don’t get me wrong she’s your typical teenager too, doesn’t pick up her damn room…like EVER, being dead serious here. Her room is gonna give me a damn heart attack. Attached to the damn phone to do the stupid tik toking shit. So if anyone’s got some remedies to fix those, I’m all ears!

So, this is to my two biggest pain in my asses possible. You both are so unique in your own ways, but you two have a bond that’s so special that I hope you both will have the rest of your life. Please never let that bond dissolve. You two make life worth living everyday, even on the days y’all annoy the shit out of me. Happy late national daughters day, to the many more day’s where you’ll continue to be little shitheads and I’ll continue to love you more and more! Thanks to you two I’ve been privileged enough to enjoy the greatest gift of all, motherhood.

Disclaimer, this isn’t me telling you to go have a child as a teenager. As precious as babies are, wait until there’s a time with less obstacles. You’d think having a child at 17 would be one of the hardest things in the world, but the hardest part was getting away from her pathetic biological father. Yes, Sierra and Lydia have two different biological fathers, but they both have the same daddy.

Life after having Sierra will have to come at a later time….it wasn’t all fun and games. Actually, saying life was hard would be an understatement, life was a fucked up world of events.

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