Lifeless. Fuck, I can’t move, the ice, just inches away, my chest, my chest needs it. Roll on your side Jess, you can do this. Jess, just fucking move. The fuck, the fuck is this pain. Fuck, it hurts. Scream, do that, you can do that. Can’t breath, I’m drowning within my own lifeless body.… Continue reading So heartless 🩸🔪❤️

Sigh…Breathing in so deep trying to rid that feeling of fucking defeat is gut wrenching. Chest weighing heavy with the deep breath in, trying to hold it for a second, but yet it seems to be so hard to take a deep breath in. Yet it still isn’t enough. Do you ever just feel so… Continue reading It’s okay to not be okay 🤙

Reality. There’s nothing like flat lining on the operating table, hello reality check. “She’s back, we got sinus rhythm.” It’s like a damn episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Strapped down, flat on my back, looking around like a dumbass, as if I could really see anything around me. Shit, they’re talking about me. Confused momentarily, what… Continue reading Heart surgery, sure no problem💪