Lifeless. Fuck, I can’t move, the ice, just inches away, my chest, my chest needs it. Roll on your side Jess, you can do this. Jess, just fucking move. The fuck, the fuck is this pain. Fuck, it hurts. Scream, do that, you can do that. Can’t breath, I’m drowning within my own lifeless body.… Continue reading So heartless 🩸🔪❤️
Tag: Courage
It’s okay to not be okay 🤙
Sigh…Breathing in so deep trying to rid that feeling of fucking defeat is gut wrenching. Chest weighing heavy with the deep breath in, trying to hold it for a second, but yet it seems to be so hard to take a deep breath in. Yet it still isn’t enough. Do you ever just feel so… Continue reading It’s okay to not be okay 🤙
Heart surgery, sure no problem💪
Reality. There’s nothing like flat lining on the operating table, hello reality check. “She’s back, we got sinus rhythm.” It’s like a damn episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Strapped down, flat on my back, looking around like a dumbass, as if I could really see anything around me. Shit, they’re talking about me. Confused momentarily, what… Continue reading Heart surgery, sure no problem💪
Questions, keep them coming 🙋♀️
Questions. So many damn questions were always running through my head, it was like they were all in a fucking marathon to cross the finish line to be answered. If you haven’t noticed by now, I have a habit of not writing in chronological order of my journey....& I don't plan on changing either. Good… Continue reading Questions, keep them coming 🙋♀️
Obstacles, the best gift 🧐
Obstacles. Ugh, fucking obstacles. Obstacles give anxiety a whole new meaning. It’s like taking that shot of whiskey that you’ve never had before and trying to swallow it like a champ, but reality is your stomachs in knots and you’ll probably avoid that shot in the future. Okay, taking a shot of whiskey while trying… Continue reading Obstacles, the best gift 🧐
The inevitable Change 🤩
Change. 6, 9, 12 months ago or even 1 or 2 years ago my response to change would’ve been, “If it’s not broken why fix it”. My god, thinking of those words now I think, “ how ridiculous was I” and “was I really that close minded”. There’s so much in our lives that aren’t… Continue reading The inevitable Change 🤩
A beautiful love ❣️
Love. Love could easily be described as the best feeling to have. You know, that feeling of being able to take a deep breath and have an overpowered sense of calmness that is so soothing, it can literally be felt within your chest if you let it. Do we even realize just how powerful love… Continue reading A beautiful love ❣️
Envy can be ugly 😣
Emotional. Well, shit. Want to talk about an emotional rollercoaster or harsh terminology. Remember in the previous post the surgery that just had to work? Surprise, surprise..that too was unsuccessful. After laying on an operating table, wide awake, with no pain medication, feeling every burning sensation to my heart (& there was an immense amount… Continue reading Envy can be ugly 😣
The obnoxious heart 😈
Obnoxious. All of the verbiage that I’ve read, constant testing, too many doctors appointments to count, constant change of medications, surgery, after surgery, after more surgery, without being completely healed from the prior surgery. All obnoxious. Going through a diagnosis so severe can be life changing, not only physically but mentally. So, what’s the right… Continue reading The obnoxious heart 😈
Just the beginning ❤️
Life. We’re entitled to life...right? So, why is it that we take something so amazing for granted every single day. Life isn’t something we’re entitled to, life is precious and we’ve been given the luxury to experience everything it has to offer. The old cliche saying, "Everything happens for a reason" really holds true. I’ve… Continue reading Just the beginning ❤️
Precious Heart 