Anxiety. The burning, it’s so painful, the breathing, my breath, I can’t catch it, trying so hard, the beating, like a cop beating on the door, but yet so slow, is it even there. Fuck, the pain, the discomfort, I need to breath. Kneel down, hold onto something, yeah that’ll solve the problem. Simple, simple… Continue reading What the fuck 🤭
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It’s okay to not be okay 🤙
Sigh…Breathing in so deep trying to rid that feeling of fucking defeat is gut wrenching. Chest weighing heavy with the deep breath in, trying to hold it for a second, but yet it seems to be so hard to take a deep breath in. Yet it still isn’t enough. Do you ever just feel so… Continue reading It’s okay to not be okay 🤙
Heart surgery, sure no problem💪
Reality. There’s nothing like flat lining on the operating table, hello reality check. “She’s back, we got sinus rhythm.” It’s like a damn episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Strapped down, flat on my back, looking around like a dumbass, as if I could really see anything around me. Shit, they’re talking about me. Confused momentarily, what… Continue reading Heart surgery, sure no problem💪
Shit parent 💩
Enmity. Have you ever had so much animosity built up against someone or something? For those that are unaware, enmity is a feeling or condition of hostility or animosity. Obviously we all go through moments of having those feelings here and there, or so I assume everyone’s experienced it at least once. Personally the enmity… Continue reading Shit parent 💩
A mother’s love ❤️
Unique. I can’t possibly be the only person who gets confused as fuck when there’s a new post on social media of “Rubber Eraser Day” or “National Margarita Day”. I mean, I’ll take the national margarita day anytime, they’re my weakness😋 oh, & the Rubber Eraser Day is legit, it’s April 15th. Apparently I missed… Continue reading A mother’s love ❤️
A blessing in disguise 😳
Eager or edgy, or simply both. Is it me or has everyone felt a little more on edge this entire fucking year. I mean, holy fuck 2020 has my bitchiness on overload. Eager for 2020 to come to an end (like many others I’m sure) ✌️ Life doesn’t always go as planned, thank you 2020… Continue reading A blessing in disguise 😳
Helpless Tween 💅
Unimaginable. “Sierra’s heart is hurting”, Sierra's my 14 year old daughter, well almost 14...in 3 weeks, but forget the minor details, focus on “Heart hurting”. Ever been in a position where you knew something was a possibility, but never expected it to actually happen? Well, me too, especially hearing the words my daughters heart hurts....from… Continue reading Helpless Tween 💅
Questions, keep them coming 🙋♀️
Questions. So many damn questions were always running through my head, it was like they were all in a fucking marathon to cross the finish line to be answered. If you haven’t noticed by now, I have a habit of not writing in chronological order of my journey....& I don't plan on changing either. Good… Continue reading Questions, keep them coming 🙋♀️
Never, is that a thing 🤔
Never. Never say never, they say 🤷♀️ 7 days after my first surgery in August 2017 my exact words to my surgeon were, “Never again will I go through another surgery like that”. In that moment, there was nothing comical about my response, over my dead body was I going to let my body go… Continue reading Never, is that a thing 🤔
Obstacles, the best gift 🧐
Obstacles. Ugh, fucking obstacles. Obstacles give anxiety a whole new meaning. It’s like taking that shot of whiskey that you’ve never had before and trying to swallow it like a champ, but reality is your stomachs in knots and you’ll probably avoid that shot in the future. Okay, taking a shot of whiskey while trying… Continue reading Obstacles, the best gift 🧐
Precious Heart 