Obstacles, the best gift 🧐

Obstacles. Ugh, fucking obstacles. Obstacles give anxiety a whole new meaning. It’s like taking that shot of whiskey that you’ve never had before and trying to swallow it like a champ, but reality is your stomachs in knots and you’ll probably avoid that shot in the future. Okay, taking a shot of whiskey while trying to conquer any obstacle is probably not such a bad idea. It’s funny how often we find ourselves complaining about obstacles, but yet we avoid the hell out of it. Have you ever found yourself facing an obstacle and someone says “that’s minor, just deal with it” or “that’s not an obstacle, you’ll be fine”. Newsflash…obstacles, come in different severities, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

How often do we focus on the positive outcome when faced with obstacles though. Do we ever, I mean hell all we want to do is fuss, bitch, cry, yell, be left alone, or whatever coping mechanism you resort to. I mean, why not if that’s how you want to handle obstacles then by all means do you. But what if, one positive thought made those obstacles just a little more tolerable or even the thought of, hell I don’t know, maybe that obstacle is about to teach us a hard life lesson that we’ve been needing. They give us so much more than negative experiences, they offer strength, determination, knowledge, problem solving abilities, and growth. Sure, obstacles have caused me to feel smaller than an ant, had my stomach in knots for what seemed like forever, and taught me how to avoid shit I didn’t want to deal with; but in the hard ass world of adulting, obstacles have shown me that change and growth will never grow old.

See that girl 👆. That girl right there…is me. Obstacles became routine for me, so it seemed. I’m not going to sit here and go through every obstacle I’ve been through in life, but for being almost 31 I’ve been through a shit ton of them. Talk about teen pregnancy, a 17 year old senior in high school, pregnant. 👋, that was me. Struggled to get through college…me again. Failed relationships…yep, me again. Wrecked a car, failed a class, made the wrong decision, couldn’t manage money, all me again. Fucked up at work…oh yeah, that’s me again even with how much of a perfectionist I was. Suffered from a deadly illness, you guessed it, me again. I overcame them, I learned from them, I’m still learning from them; but what that girl up there doesn’t do is let obstacles define who I am and neither should you.

Although those have been struggles I’ve endured and believe me, the list is a lot longer than just that, but that list alone exposes vulnerability. I may never understand why I suffer from such a nasty disease, maybe one day I will, but one thing I do understand, maybe I’m wrong or maybe I’m not, but God did allow me to have 2 beautiful, rotten ass little girls at a young age letting me experience the greatest gift he could give. Little did I know that several years down the road I’d be told having more children would be deadly…see, it gets you thinking about them obstacles you’ve experienced. Sierra and Lydia, no matter how much they make me want to pull my hair out, scream, laugh, cry (& I don’t cry often), they will never know just how much they’ve taught me, continuously teach me, and the amount of unconditional love I have for them. Being a mom is something I’ll never fail at, even during the times that I may slack or fail in their eyes, they are my greatest strength ❤️ Pity parties and sympathy aren’t always what people are searching for when they’re going through obstacles, but genuine love, or maybe they do enjoy the pity but one thing I cringe at is when I feel the pity from others. Sometimes we just need a reminder that we’re not the only ones going through this thing we call life.

Coding on the operating table, well that’s a damn major obstacle if you ask me…..